fishy profiles

PSA: If you are a man with dating profile that includes a photo of you holding a freshly caught or dead fish, delete the photo now. 

If you are not a woman who is online dating, let me fill you in: pictures of men holding fish they ostensibly caught is a recurring image that appears on dating profiles. This recurrence is great enough that I am writing about it because I am morbidly fascinated with why men think these pictures are a good choice to lure (had to) women in their direction. I have deleted myself from online dating for a number of reasons that do not include meeting the man of my dreams, but Guy With Fish pictures, definitely helped push me over the edge. 

Let me clarify, these images I tell you of, they are not inspiring. I am not referring to beautiful River Runs Through It imagery or even fishing silhouettes with the evening setting sun in the foreground, because on rare occasion, those are shared, and in those cases it’s clear the men have a love for the art of fishing. No, I am asking why do men post pictures of themselves, after a long day of sitting in the sun and drinking cheap beer, holding a dead fish? I am assuming they didn’t immediately post the picture. They went back – days, possibly month later – and decided it was a good idea to share that moment of their life. These fishy pictures are often on profiles that also include bathroom selfies – dressed or in various stages of undress – and sweaty gym action pictures where their phone randomly blocks half of their body or face and blurry taken in a car snapshots.

Those other common locations are awkward examples of, “Well, I need some photo and I’ve got my phone and I guess this is how you do it,” but these fish pictures are really confusing to me because they are so prevalent. They are found on profiles of country boys, boys in suits, even the occasional bad-boy rocker will have a photo of himself holding up a freshly dead fish. It seems, if a man has ever fished you will know it because there will be a photo of them offering up a pescatarian treat; as if a 21st century way to declare, “Pick me. I will provide for you. Pick me! I get nice fish.”

Men, I beg of you, do not use these pictures. If you’ve been outside all day in the sun, drinking beer, and fishing we do not care about the photographic evidence of such shenanigans. If anything, it makes you look like a fool who doesn’t have the sense to wear sunscreen or moderate his alcohol consumption.

With that, I’ve changed my thoughts, Guy with Fish, go ahead and keep posting those pics, because they are helpful for women who are trying to weed out poor life choices. 

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